Don't forget your...

I've got time on the mind. I'm still undecided as to whether or not the last three months have gone by fast or slow. Some days it feels like just yesterday I arrived in Scotland and opened the door to my little room in Hector Boece for the first time. And where the heck did February, March, and April go? Like, today is May. Whoa. Other days though, I look back and think of everything that has happened, all the weeks and days of classes, the travels, the really happy moments and the really difficult ones. Some days it feels like it's been such a long time I've been here.

The best way I can think to say it is, "It's taken a really long time for things to happen so fast."

I've still got a lot left. A project and a presentation, a trip to Ireland, exams. I'll be busy for sure, but already I am anticipating June 12th. That date is starting to hang over my head in the same way that January 28th did, and I find my thoughts lingering longer on the idea of leaving this place I have come to love. An idea that is starting to look more like a reality than an abstraction. This has been a big experience and I know it will be difficult to walk away from it.

You know how sometimes you leave for school, work, wherever, and can't shake the feeling that you've forgotten something? You don't know what that something is, but boy are you nervous that it's been forgotten. That's kind of how I feel right now. "Did I do everything I set out to do?" "Did I live my time to the fullest?"

Sometimes you get there and realize that you really have forgotten something and that you should have made that last-minute double-check before driving away. And that really sucks. But other times you arrive realizing that you didn't forget something after all. That the paranoia was just a reminder that you understand the significance of the place you are leaving and that you really care about the place where you are headed.

I've still got time here. Time to do the double-checks I need to do. After that all I can do is hope that I get home only to find that I've taken everything I could from where I was to where I am and that forgetting something was never even a possibility.