Snapshots

I've been reluctant to post a blog lately. I've had a hard time deciding what I want to say and exactly how I want to say it, which is frustrating because there is so much to tell. So many thoughts.

But how can I tell this story with integrity? I can try all I want, but in the end, you are not here with me. You are not having this experience with me. I want to be understood and I don't want to fall back on a cheap, "You'd just have to be here," because I do want to share. I want to share, but I want to share honestly.

For instance, I've been here for a month. On the one hand it feels like forever. A whole month. Yet it also feels like time has just flown by and I have absolutely no clue where it has gone. They’re opposite, but both outlooks are true.

For instance part deux, being here makes me feel like a teeny tiny person on a big huge Earth and even though I've traveled so far from my little corner of it and seen many new sights, what my eyes have seen represents such a minuscule fraction of all that this world has to offer. Then again, I also feel I am really living in such a big way and am stretching my life's experience to its limits and growing into more of a person. Again, both outlooks are true and I don't really know how to make sense of that in my head, much less organize it into words for people to read. (Sure makes blog-writing difficult.)

I flip through my photographs and each and every one, for all the beauty it shows, pales in comparison to real-life. Taking photos is merely a valiant, though futile effort to capture and contain moments that pass too quickly to be captured and expanses too magnificent to be contained. If this is true for one picture of one pretty landscape, sunset, or beach, how will I ever compress my entire (when all is said and done, four and a half months worth), wonderful, unpredictable, terrifying, joy-filled life in to an easy-to-swallow pill of a blog? That's something I do not want to do. Something I should not do.

So here's a disclaimer for all of my readers (I think there's gotta be like, three of you out there somewhere): I'll share what I can. Everything I can. But just know that this blog, much like my photographs, only reveals so much. It's a snapshot. It's a hole in the wall through which I invite you too take a peek into my life in Scotland. Enjoy the view, but let me tell you, it's quite a sight to see over here on the other side.